Mattel Announces New Barbie Line for Acadiana...

In honor of Bein' Queenly in The Berry--I hope you all can enjoy this with a little grain of salt. Talk about STEREO-types!!! I'm kinda miffed they aren't comin out with an ALABAMA TRAILER TRASH BARBIE, come to think of it!! Where's the LUV for all the BAMA girls!!!! Thanks Queen Faye Dough Dough for passin this along!

RIVER RANCH BARBIE
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> > This princess Barbie is only sold at River Ranch shops. She comes with
an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a longhaired foreign
lap-dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter dream house with a lawn service.
Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic ex-husband Ken comes
with a Porsche.

BROUSSARD BARBIE

This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
mini-van and matching gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.
Available at Target.

EVANGELINE THRUWAY BARBIE

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handg un, bowie knife, a
'79 El Camino with dark tinted windows and a meth lab kit. This model is only
available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably small
bills, unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking
about.

GREENBRIAR ESTATE BARBIE

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included is her own CC coffee cup, credit card set and Red's membership.
Also available is Shallow Ken.

CARENCRO BARBIE

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a classic Metallica shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder.
Wants to major in NASCAR at LSU. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired
Ken's ah-yes when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a
confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Available at Big Lots &
Dollar General Stores .

OPELOUSAS BARBIE

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut
Ken out of Carencro Barbie's (D! isconti nued) house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a
see-through halter-top. Comes with Barbie's dream doublewide trailer.
Available at Wal-Mart. Cheap.

LE TRIOMPHE BARBIE

This collagen injected rhino plastic Barbie wears leopard print
Spandex and drinks cosmopolitans to new age music with friends at the
Lodge. Into crystals. Comes with Percocet prescription and botox
treatments.
Also cheap.

GRAND COTEAU BARBIE

This Barbie comes with a monogrammed tote bag, a collection of credit
cards in her daddy's name, expensive hair highlights, cell phone and an
enormous sense of entitlement. Available in two models: eating disorder
with natural breasts or eating disorder with breast implants. BMW X5 or Chevy
Tahoe. ESA Ken (with Toyota 4 Runner and iPod) is also available.

UNIVERSITY BARBIE

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no make up and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a
Ken doll, but if you purchase two University Barbies and the optional
Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker free.

YOUNGSVILLE BARBIE

This doll is pregnant, drives a new Ford Excursion and is perfect in
every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting
or in Japan on business. Youngsville Barbie aspires to become River
Ranch Barbie. Not cheap, but still very naïve